on the wrong side of sunrise

Tag: teaching (Page 1 of 2)

On Character Building

I’m working on creating a character. This is something I’ve done before. That’s not to say I’m an expert at it—just that I’ve done it. Only this time it’s different, because I’m creating a character for myself.

No, I’m not writing a memoir, or a story with a protagonist who’s a thinly-veiled version of myself (at least, not intentionally). I’m also not getting into LARPing.

Fall semester is approaching fast, and six days from now, I’ll be standing in front of a class of twenty-five comp students, most of whom are in their first semester. And I’ll be trying to present a deliberately-crafted version of myself.

I tried that last semester, in a way. My students found me, for the most part, either strict and intimidating … or timid and insecure. Three guesses which of those was a more accurate reading—and there are only two options, so with three guesses, you have no excuse to not get it right eventually.

A professor of mine compared teaching to performing, and I think it’s an interesting analogy. I put on my teacher costume—a blazer, a plain top, nice pants, simple shoes—and get on my teacher stage and use my teacher voice (but sometimes slip and use my normal voice and have students come up to me after class to ask me what I said because it was impossible to hear from the back of the room). But I haven’t really created my teacher character. What does she want?

Some answers that are unacceptable:

  • avenge parents’ murder (doesn’t work when your parents are alive and well)
  • achieve fame (if you can’t handle a twenty-five person audience, the spotlight is not where you want to be)
  • win the big competition (a university teaching award doesn’t count as big)
  • slay the dragon (killing your students, even the mean ones, is frowned upon)
  • get the guy/girl (ditto sleeping with them)

So what does my teacher character want? I don’t have a good answer yet, but I have at least a nugget of what she doesn’t: She doesn’t want to seem intimidating. Avoiding timid would be pretty great, too.

Psychopathology of a Grad Student

First off, yes, it’s been over six months. I know.

I’m officially halfway through my graduate program at Ball State University. Some things I’ve done over the past year:

-Taught two sections of ENG 104, a research-based course in the first-year writing program.
-Decided teaching was absolutely not for me, because I dreaded getting up in the morning to go to campus.
-Realized that I dreaded getting up in the morning, period; days when I taught just forced me to do it anyway.
-Realized something might be wrong.

Writers are a crazy lot. It’s just something we assume, and research tends to back it up. The mania of creation, the depressive blank page, the sitting in a coffee shop wearing a too-big sweater and watching raindrops slide down the window and contemplating the human condition in all its extremes. And, you know, sometimes the hallucinations and delusions and total breaks from reality.

Similarly, we attribute an inherent neuroticism to graduate students. What sort of obsession, after all, drives somebody into that sort of self-selected servitude? Late nights hoarding books in the library, snapping, “No!” in response to every social invitation, taking naps at a desk between classes and then waking up feeling guilty for not having used that time more productively.

There’s a certain glamour in fitting these stereotypes. What’s more writerly than soul-crushing angst? As Ursula K. Le Guin observes in “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas”

The trouble is that we have a bad habit, encouraged by pedants and sophisticates, of considering happiness as something rather stupid. Only pain is intellectual, only evil interesting. This is the treason of the artist: a refusal to admit the banality of evil and the terrible boredom of pain. If you can’t lick ’em, join ’em. If it hurts, repeat it. But to praise despair is to condemn delight, to embrace violence is to lose hold of everything else. We have almost lost hold; we can no longer describe a happy man, nor make any celebration of joy.

And if you’re not in a codependent, self-destructive relationship with graduate school, you may as well not be in grad school at all. Clearly you aren’t taking it seriously enough.

I have a spotty history when it comes to mental health, but I like to think I’ve learned something from it. Most importantly: The time to intervene is before it becomes unbearable. You may think, But I’m still functioning. I’m still getting out of bed, after all. Thing is, you have to take action while you’re still functioning enough to get out of bed. Taking action requires getting out of bed.

Yes, there may be some link that makes writerly types more prone to the crazies, or vice versa; yes, grad school will demand time and energy and commitment. But there’s no glory in misery or self-neglect.

There’s glory in action. Or, at least, there’s the potential for it.

There’s a bathroom on the right.

There’s a new category on the right end of the navigation bar up top. See it over there, “Teaching“? Yeah. It doesn’t have much content at the moment, but it will be developing over the next couple weeks as I put together my teaching portfolio. It will include, among other things, a syllabus for the ENG 104 courses I’ll be teaching next semester. When I first expressed anxieties about teaching, people told me, “But you’re so good at grammar! You’ll be great.” While it’s true that I know my way around comma rules, I’m still working on learning my way around the classroom—but I am learning and beginning to find the prospect of being in charge of a whole roomful of students a bit less preposterous.

In other news, a short story of mine was recently accepted by The Broken Plate for the 2014 issue. The story is called “Rest In Peace” and features an autobiographical moment of mondegreen—what Wikipedia explains as “the mishearing or misinterpretation of a phrase as a result of near-homophony, in a way that gives it a new meaning.” Or, put more plainly, it’s the “bathroom on the right” effect:

The chorus actually goes …

Don’t go around tonight.
Well, it’s bound to take your life.
There’s a bad moon on the rise.

Alternatively, though, you might hear it as …

Don’t go around tonight.
Well, it’s bound to take your life.
There’s a bathroom on the right.

And hey, if that’s the version you prefer, more power to you. I won’t try to correct you—unless you neglect to set off that exclamatory “well” with a comma.

On College Writing (by way of preschoolers)

This is cross-posted (with slight variation) on my brand new temporary side blog, I have an office. I’m keeping it as a place to process my learning-to-be-a-teacher thoughts, and I might draw from it now and then if I have a thought that comes together well.

A few days ago, I started How Learning Works, and it brings up a lot of principles from my undergrad psychology studies. The third chapter in particular makes me think of a psychology class I had my last semester of undergrad, which was actually called Learning. It was behavioral psychology learning, not education learning, but a huge chunk of behavioral psychology is operant conditioning—all about shaping behavior with consequences. And this is where motivation comes in.

Take the different forms of value, for instance. Intrinsic value, my psych professor asserted, rarely comes out of nowhere—there’s almost always something that precedes it. Example: most pianists who play because of the intrinsic value they find in it didn’t just decide, out of the blue, that this pursuit was valuable. The closest jump would be that boredom/curiosity/etc. gave value to exploring the environment, and the piano that happened to be there had instrumental value (get it?) as a way to alleviate boredom/satiate curiosity. Only then can the piano take on its own value. But that often isn’t the case. A lot of pianists had piano lessons as a kid, something selected—and incentivized—by the parent.

Nothing is intrinsically intrinsically valuable, short of basic life needs. Intrinsic value develops with time—sometimes quickly, sometimes not.

Here, though, is the twist: we have to be careful how we reward things. There are risks involved. Lepper, Green, and Nisbett did a study in 1973 with preschool kids—not exactly a college writing class, I know, but bear with me.

So one day, you sit down three groups of kids with markers and tell them to draw. You tell the first group they’ll get a reward at the end for drawing; you surprise the second group with a reward; and the third group gets no reward. Three days later, you reconvene the groups and set them in a playroom with, among other things, markers and paper. Do you see a change in the rate of drawing?

Yes. But it’s complicated.

What typically gets reported when the study is cited is that the group that got no reward had higher rates of drawing than the group that was told they’d get a reward. This means, people will say, that extrinsic reward actually undermines motivation. (It’s the whole, I love writing, so if I got paid to do it, it would be ruined! sort of thinking.)

Except you had three groups, remember? And the group of kids that got a surprise reward drew just as much as the group that got no reward. So this means that extrinsic reward has no effect, then? No, not that either.

With a little probing into these kids’ histories, you can break them down into “low-base-rate” and “high-base-rate” drawers—i.e., kids who, left to their own devices, didn’t draw much, and kids who did. The group with no reward saw no change to either group. The group with the surprise reward saw a higher rate in the low-base-rate kids, as did the group with the expected reward. But that group saw a drop in high-base-rate kids.

Why might that possibly be?

Here’s an analogy. I could say, “Want to help me with Project A?” Or I could say, “Want to help me with Project B? I’ll give you five bucks.” While the five dollars is a nice offer, it also might—reasonably—lead you to suspect that there’s something unpleasant about Project B. You go in with the assumption that this is a trade—that you’re taking a loss (your effort) in exchange for a gain (five dollars), as am I (reversed). By offering you the money ahead of time, I’ve framed it as a chore, and since I’m having to add extrinsic value to the equation, Project B must not have intrinsic value.

And that’s the tricky thing with incentives. (Well, one of them.) A lot of people don’t come into a writing class finding writing intrinsically valuable. But lumping on simple extrinsic value isn’t necessarily the best way to resolve that.

I met with my mentor Friday, along with her other mentee. He asked about creating student interest in the class, and it’s a good question—particularly with a class like this. It’s not just that they need a 300-level lit class and they picked the one that looked best; it’s that they need this specific composition class—there’s no element of choice involved, except “Now or later?”

The first thing, our mentor said, is to get them arguing with one another.

Which, when she said it, made perfect sense. These students might not find intrinsic value in writing, but who doesn’t find intrinsic value in being right—in being recognized as being right? Start off there, and writing becomes instrumentally valuable, but not in a way tied to an unrelated reward—in a way that’s organically connected to a reward. Writing isn’t a chore you complete to get a grade; it’s a tool for demonstrating how deliciously right you are.

The Five-Paragraph Essay (feat. a sports analogy)

Incidentally, today is the thirteenth of August. On the fourteenth, I have the first of several orientation sessions, and on the nineteenth, I attend the first class of my graduate studies.

Incidentally, it isn’t a graduate-level class. It’s ENG 103: freshman composition. I’ll be going to every session, though, because come January, if all goes as planned, I’ll be teaching a section of it myself.

Incidentally, this prospect is terrifying.

It’s also exciting, though, and it has me reflecting on my experiences, good and bad, in English classes—considering what I might borrow and what I want to avoid. I never took a standard freshman composition course, but between high school and college, I had enough classes to give me a wealth of material for contemplation. Of particular interest is …

The Five-Paragraph Essay

The five-paragraph essay is just a Mad Libs where you know the topic ahead of time, and so formulaic that it makes drugstore romance novels look innovative. I say, “Give me a topic sentence. Okay, now give me a supporting point, and another, and another. Now a transition,” and you say, “Cats make great pets. If you’re stuck on a paper and don’t know what to write next, they’ll walk all over the keyboard to help you out. If you’re having trouble sleeping at night, they’ll sing you a yowling lullaby. If you’re spending too much time on the computer, they’ll come over and nip at your fingers until you stop and pay attention to them. Cats aren’t just useful as pets, though.” Like communication techniques well-meaning counselors teach badly—e.g., active listening and “I” statements—the five-paragraph essay leaves everyone feeling unfulfilled. To my knowledge, nobody likes to read a five-paragraph essay, and nobody likes to write one.

So we should just ditch the form, right? Well, no.

The way I’ve come to look at it—and the way I wish it had been presented to me—is that the five-paragraph essay is an exercise, a training drill. Will you use it anywhere in the real world? Not unless you’re teaching it (and classifying academia as the “real world” is debatable). Similarly, for a football player, there is (I am told) value in running back and forth across the field, undulating thick ropes, running through tires, and … whatever C.J. Spiller doing over there. It’s not fun to do, and it’s not exciting to watch, but it builds strength and fitness and gets back to those fundamentals everyone likes to talk about.

How, then, do we get back to the fundamentals of the essay?

This is where the five-paragraph essay comes in. To write a successful five-paragraph essay, you better have a very clear idea of what your thesis is. You better be able to boil down what you’re trying to say into a tidy outline. You better be able to cluster your points in a logical way, transition between them, and explain why they combine to support that thesis you came up with.

Once you can do those things, you can begin applying those fundamentals in more useful essays. Of course, the five-paragraph essay isn’t the only way to teach those fundamentals. If I have a choice in the matter, I don’t think it’s the one I’ll use, because I think it’s a clunky and inefficient form of exercise. Still, it has its place—and it’s also worth learning because the fact is, it’s what many teachers/professors expect. (This presents the issue of learning to write badly, in some sense, to satisfy expectations, but that’s another post entirely.)

Really, so much of what we read and write are essays. A blog post is a sort of essay. A magazine article is a sort of essay. Even this, sparse as it is in text, is a sort of essay. When we teach the five-paragraph essay like it’s the only form an essay can take, we do a great disservice to the form, its creators, and its audience. It would be like presenting football as nothing more than running back and forth across the field, undulating thick ropes, running through tires … Although come to think of it, with a little tweaking, whatever C.J. Spiller is doing up there could probably find an eager audience on Wipeout.

« Older posts

© 2024 Alice Thomsen

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑